Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
