Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The uberlube is also flammable
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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