Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
