weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she peed on how many people?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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