Me. At least after what I've been through.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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