so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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