I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
