So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
