garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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