One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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