singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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