Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
