That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
