I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
