there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
