i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
