I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
