"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
