I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
