Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
