Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
