this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
