don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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