Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize