I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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