did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize