No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
