new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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