he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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