I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
