Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
