just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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