Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
