Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
