i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
