I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
