He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
