This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
