I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
