i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
