everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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