I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
