Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
