I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
