but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
