If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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