is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He felt like a one man threesome
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
