belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
