There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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