idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
