I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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