If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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