Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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