we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
