It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
