is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
