Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
