I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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