i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
